i'll talk much about my problematic love life (forget the past :p) after all these times i've been through i think i had enough experiences of being loved, than hurt straightly and finally come to a broken-hearted life (which i really2 hate). but it makes me strong enough to deal with something like that. but one of my ex's was such a jerk, he made me having such a trauma in mourning. so when i broke up with him, i decided to be more selective in finding my true love hehe well thetrauma eventually stopped when i met ncong (fyi : he's my bf now and soon to be my future husby). at first i wasnt sure that i had a crush on him cause we hadn't even met each other just yet. can you imagine how riddiculous to be in love with 'stranger'? what i thought it's riddiculous , but now i've gotta thanks to god for giving me one good person like him 

after these 6 months we've been through, we only had one serious problem that made us almost breakup. i could tolerate any other problems but CENTIL :(  i know he didnt mean to hurt me or whatever, but he should've known that it wasnt okay for me. there's something in him that i cant or never ever be okay with that. yeah he is a kind of friendly boy that can easily making friends with everybody which most of them are girls. he has a lot of not-official-sistersssss that annoy me so much. i know that they know ncong better long enough than me. i ever once debated about it with ncong. and he told me that he wouldnt give any responses to them. yeaa it didnt mean that there will be any boundaries between ncong and those annoying girls,right?

o ya, he also has bestfriends which some of them are girls. well it didnt matter for me at first, until i read some of her messages which saying something unappropriate (at least for me) and finally i knew that it wasnt a big deal for them. didnt he care about my feeling? so how if he's in my position and has a same point of view just like mine? 

there's also one annoying girl (sorry ncong) who knows ncong so well cause she's his bestriend's cousin. just call her A, she usually calls him 'abang' or even 'abang sayang' maybe cuih cuih. she's so close to him, so that ncong usually share about his problems (with me or anything) to A. and once again, i wasnt okay with that. and nowadays, i feel like i damnbore with all jelousy things. i'm sick of them all, i'd rather breakup than make any boundaries between ncong and his friends. i dont wanna repress him or being too possesive. but i cant also deny that i'm hurt inside. i dont know whether i just too over or exaggerate. but one thing that he has to know is i love him more than anyone can do.

so do i have to sacrifice for his happiness with his friends or i have to keep him with me and let my self hurt inside?