first, talking about new years eve a couple of days ago. it was fun and so tiring -enough-

second, talking about my feeling, it's so uncontrollable. i dont know how i really feel exactly. sometimes i wanna let myself being alone without any others bothering me. but sometimes i need someone to spend my time with. and sometimes my head wanna explode and spread everything in it (li'l exaggerate) and poor my bf, he's always be the 'black sheep' hihi and i hope this wont stay any longer amen!

third, talking about my boyfriend. yeah nowadays, i'm feeling like i wanna back to the time when we just knew each other or time when we just started our relationship. yeah, that was good and full of loooooveeee. well doesnt mean that didnt stay longer, but everything's just being different. i wanna feel 'in love' with my heart leaped higher when he said that he had a crush on me or something like that. btw, yesterday i deided to breakup but he disagreed, i have no idea why he still want me to be his gf or annoying gf. i know he's been such a good bf for me (best malah) but there's something left n my head and still, i dont know what it is. and today, i saw his ex's blog in friendster that shocked me. it tells about how she fell in love with ncong and bla bla, what i've got is she really loved him.and she was so hurt when they brokeup. and even when ncong is already mine, she still loved him and she was so broken heart when she had known about me and ncong. i know how it feels. and now i'm feeling guilty. for what? i have no idea :( though i know it was so long ago but i wasnt okay with that. m god, am i too jealousy? haha you know what? jealous means love :)

and finally, talking about family. i had a big fight with my grandma yesterday and we haven't communicated til today. i dont care no more cause i hate her. 

enough for today, and happy new year 2009!