INDAH'S

Mind's decision

2011-11-22T15:16:00.008+07:00

Exam's in about 3 days ahead. And all I did today was sleep, filled my empty tummy, sleep again. And when I finally get up, first thing on my mind was 'I gotta blog'. Well, I don't blog that much but, since this is where I can downrightly spill every little detail about how I currently feel, yep, seems there's so much to say about here.

Well, I don't know why I'd prefer to avoid ppl nowadays, since their two-faced appear clearer than before, their impudent words or their abrupt changing deeds lead me to my final decision to twice aware of being stabbed. When you brag about something on social network, go on, I don't mind. But really, if you dare to talk bad things about me, and my closest friends, BEHIND MY BACK, you're really such a loser, and I assume that you're just jealous. Get over your rotten soul.

At least, for now I need a space where my authenticity won't mind people around me. I could really differ this kind of people from those blabber mouths. It's not that I hate particular persons here, no I'm not a hating person, it's just you know, freeing myself up from being uptight for months where I jarred of being commented, vaguely.
I've been tiptoeing around them too much and I need to stop.

BYTHEWAY

I got a little surprise from Dicha and Fara few days ago, it surprised me a lot. Thanks anyway to those douches who bother makin' this <3

*shootmybooks'callingout*

Friends or....

2011-10-30T09:56:00.001+07:00

Do you have any idea how relieving it is to see who your bestfriends really are? Cause I do, and it feels so much more than being around stabber who you should've punched in the face.

Lesson learned : love those who love you back, care about those who care about you, spend every single day with your love ones. Just get rid of those people who disrespect you for who you are.

...

2011-08-23T22:01:00.002+07:00

"and i wish that you would call me right now, so that i could get through to you somehow and i guess it's safe to say that i'm officially missing you"

Yea, me miss you, F!

Sigh

2011-08-17T20:06:00.004+07:00

Well at least what you hope in the end of the day is all about a verry berry happy 24hrs to be thanked-ful.

But then again, it depends on yourself how you're gonna deal with your day. Sometimes, wonderful things show up OR sequence of illegible shits happen to you in a span time of these 24hrs. All you need to do is, curve your best smile to the world saying 'whatever, I'm okay with that'

Me and my friends were randomly talking on my group, and I fluffed, and for God sake I didn't intend to be such an infuriating person with those raging words I blurted. Anyway, it's been a while since I never even complained about something that don't go my way. It felt sooooo great afterward.

That apparently switch my mood down for the whole day.

I am more of like, um, hating person, in my way. It's not that I easily hate everyone so I call myself so but, I guess I am way too god at poker-ing my face. I just hate people who knows everything too late and act as if she/he is the only one who knows it best when I know they don't. I hate them people who tends to be the center of attention just because of their good looking or awesomeness that spread all over the world. I hate that person who brags about everything. Listen, yout beauty is nothing compared to my ass. My ass wouldn't get wrinkled, your face would. I hate those who's faking everything so other ppl would think they're good enough to stand up to the world.

Those posers should try harder.

"Distance only makes this love twice as strong..."

2011-08-15T21:08:00.002+07:00

I had a conversation with the ocean
I shared a little whisper with the stars
I wrote a letter on a folded paper airplane
Hoping it would find a way to your heart

It seems as miles get longer every day.
And the scent of your perfume ain't as strong, no.
But every day away it gets closer to the day we meet again, oh what a day, oh what a day.

Darling we belong.
Distance only makes this love twice as strong.
Over and over again I fall in love like the first time.
Fly away with me.
There's so much of the world we have yet to see.
No one can stand between us it's just you and me.
In love, oh in love.
In love.

I've seen a thing or two within this blessed lifetime.
Never thought something like this would come my way.
But you came into my life, unexpectedly.
You came from miles away, you came from the bay.

It's funny what you find when you come looking
I'm loving you just smackdab in my face.
Boy you have my heart, no matter how far.
I'm a dream away, so best believe one day.

Oh you, I must see the lightning.
You turn everything so wonderful.
Hope is when, I've come and done, I couldn't see the sun.
Your love keeps me still.
And every moment when I think of you my soul feels so brand new. And the one I'd be longing for. (I'd be longing for)

Over and over again. Come fly with me come fly with me.
There so much of, there's so much more.
You and me eternally forever and always be.
So in love in love in love in love.
Six thousand miles away, one day we could finally say we've made it.
Letter on a folded paper airplane hoping it will find it's way...

Paper Airplane - Passion ft Melissa Polinar

Boredom Attacks

2011-07-21T21:52:00.002+07:00

I know, I may not managed to be a good writer or simply have some pretentious words to spill in every post I've posted.
Cause what you read here, as you scroll down and up the page, this who I am.
I wrote what I wanted to write and I am not makin' stuff up.

School's off since last June 'til this September, and I am more lookin' like a moron sitting my ass in front of computer and tv just to kill every seconds in my everyday. Me totally bored here. Few friends are busy doing their semester to remediate some scores. At least they have some or lots of things to do during the holiday.

To be soooo frank, I've made a plan (where-to-go-list) and see what am I doin? I end up no where. GOOD.

But anyways, what's good about holidays? Got a lot more times to blog and tumblring. Wiiightttt?

It's official now!! :D

2011-06-15T19:46:00.002+07:00

Since I've been dating, well not officially 'dating', this guy, one of my classmate who I never ever imagined even once, to be in a relationship with.
This guy, hmm initialled FW.. find out :P

We finally made it 'real'ationship on June 11th yesterday, well that was a blast tho. I didn't plan for this thing to happen, but we know we're in love so, what to wait? That stupid other guy who just played a game with my feeling? absolutely no.

I consider it as a new chapter, it's been a long time huh? I mean, I am no longer waiting for another shoe to drop, cause I got this one best shoes to keep me companied wherever I go..

<3<3<3

Un-choose-able

2011-06-08T22:09:00.003+07:00

Making a right decision is not what I'm good at. Being in the middle of this scaring situation is really taking me nowhere. I do hate being second to those who I put first. But what worse was I couldn't even get myself outta this crap. Really wanted to go but my shoes seemed to stick tighter to the ground.
I got to thank God for ALWAYS giving me options in every problems I'm dealing with. And I got 2 options in this case. But this one unchooseable option, is what I actually choose. And me myself againts that.

And now I finally know where to go

I somehow want to be a priority.......

CONGRATS FOR SAMAN YARSI!

2011-05-21T08:12:00.005+07:00

Last monday was super blast. Me, myself, couldnt believe enough about what's just happened.
Yeah...*drumroll*
we won the first prize

for what you may ask??

SO, me and numbers of peers joined that saman competition that was held at UIN Ciputat, we sent 2 teams ---> TEAM A (with me in it) & TEAM B

To be sooooo frank, this is my first performance in front of audience. It wasn't easy as you guys may think. Feeling the blood is flowing around your body, the heart that was pumped with a beat, and that optimsm eventually dwindled down. But anyway, we won the 1st prize after all.
*WHOOPING*

click here to watch on youtube

I know this is bad, but...

2011-04-24T21:02:00.001+07:00

I'm extremely tired of medical school's stuff...... should I quit? :(

What to do.. err

2011-04-03T15:56:00.001+07:00

I do now understand how easy it is to simply make a simple mistake. What's on your mind when there's one guy, you might be fall in love with and he came to you and offered random conversation towards his feeling and bam! He gotcha.
I wasn't feeling offended or sth like that, but he presumably thinks before any words come outta his mouth. His blabber mouth.

I don't believe I'm letting this happen to me again. Because you know, people are changing and so do I. And we don't have any idea what's around the next corner of your life, kind of thing. I used to be un-trust-ing person but turns out I'm now a trust-fool-ing person, kinda thing.

This guy, let's call him um.. DB as in douchebag (whatever), he sets everything up. Then he appeared to be a moron that hates seeing me out with any other guy and that's it. He left me no words. He refused to chat and everything and today he's out with a girl that I happen to know her tho, and it infuriated me anyway. Okay, I shouldnt have to be infuriated or irritated with that but, what can I say? That's what I was feelin.

So, I fluffed.

Mood : upside down

2011-03-19T21:01:00.003+07:00

Saturday night again.

Been lacking post I know, got lotsa catch-ups to do. Well, not much to talk to, I am just starting to get bored of studying. I aint that one girl who spends hours for those creepy books, and I'm obviously not that girl who plays around spending lots of money to hang. So, you may say, I'm in between.
I'm having this topsy turvy mood today, then I read these lines of infuriating words :

'Hi. I'm a guy. Here's how it goes.
I'm gonna flirt you, then diss you.
I'll send you mixed messages, hit on your friends, lie to you.
I'll make you happy for a night, but tomorrow,
I'll completely ignore you.
You'll be the one I turn to when I need a friend,
or a confidence boost.
Know what the best part is?
You can't do anything about it, because you love me,
and you don't wanna lose me. Ha'

Ha. ha.
It completely hits me in the head. All I had in mind was, yea this what Mr.Sunburned might say to me but I was kind of blinded.

My life is simply perplexing. I can do nothing bout it.

Thank you, You!

2011-02-27T18:41:00.002+07:00

Been waiting for you to notice my presence. You finally did.
Been wanting for you to get to know me. You finally did.
Been here waiting for a chance towards a little talk. We finally did.

Was I excited? yea, sort of.

But then again , people come and go. There's always a good in goodbyes, rite?
I'm thanking you, for that.

Intermezzo

2011-02-18T21:55:00.004+07:00

What's one eminent purpose do you have in mind when you decided to set yourself up to this college life?

I have one reason. All I saw was a woman in white suite with a stethoscope hanging on her neck. And a lot of questions and answers combined in her mind. Trying to figure out every symptoms turn them into one big news for everyone who comes to her. End up with a big smile on their lips.

Not with dense powdered face and extra-shining lips come to the class and take back row seats making a riot.

I'm glad it's all imagined that clear. So, this bunch of plastics (this is what i call em), are totally vague-d. I guess.

Hell No

2011-02-15T21:44:00.003+07:00

I know I was out of line.
You were way out of your mind.
Wrapped up in my reveries...
Causing all this misery

Well, hear me out!
If ever there's a chance in heaven (or in hell)
To slowly forget the past and abandon...

Be careful, you fool, there are certain rules
even for a fellow like you.
But don't be alarmed, no one gets harmed
I will never go, babe, hell no

Maybe I was in the dark
but why'd you have to steal my heart?
Well, I didn't plan to go berserk.
Baby, you were such a jerk

Well, just hear me out
I can't believe the things I said (I know!)
I obviously was removed from my senses.

Be careful you fool, there are certain rules
even for a fellow like you
But don't be alarmed, no one gets harmed.
I will never go, babe, hell no

Now hear me out:
If ever you decieve me (If ever, ever?)
We're through
You worry too much; I won't make you sorry

Be careful you fool, there are certain rules
Even for a fellow I know (I know. I know!)
But don't be alarmed... no one gets harmed
I will never go, babe, hell no

Be careful you fool (Don't be alarmed)
There are certain rules (Cause I know that--)
I'll never go, babe, hell no

-Sondre Lerche ft. Regina Spektor-

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ps : currently in love with this song

Hell-o part 2

2011-02-12T00:23:00.003+07:00

GREAT. It's been 1 year and 2 months since my last post titled 'Rough Week'.

Sorry for the lack of posts, ever since the rough times I've cried, a lot, and undergoing those delusional hours thinking about someone who is not supposed to be given a shit about, and hoping one day he would actually feel the way I felt about him. LAME.
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Just had a day-out yesterday with my friends, and it was hella fun! We went to Safari Park where is about 2hours away from here. We did have fun there, despite of my severe flu and buzzing head did make it fun-less.

Good thing I was in the mood yesterday at least to refrain myself from being a dipshit that babbling words outta my mouth without even realizing what I was saying. Which is so ME.

I spent the whole day watching dvds like a moron hoping someone would ask me out for a decent lunch or movies. But you see, I end up alone in the room. I don't live a pretentious life like those idiots out there who is -as I guess- out to hang or killing time in coffeeshop bragging about a guy who she's just dumped and all other boastful things to say, as we speak.

I might be jealous or something, but thanks God I'm not. What I prefer doing now is grab my blanket, cover it up to the head and.......... sleep. Goodnight <3

Rough Week

2009-12-26T16:55:00.003+07:00

This could be the hardest week ive ever had. Been trying to forget him that is so hard to be forgotten and cried a lot.

Maybe this the only way we have to choose. Freeing our self up for brighter future.

But turns out, it's hard. Pretty hard. I have to keep pretending that I'm alright while I'm actually crying inside. Okay that's life.

But for you, the one who I love(d), you need to know, it's killing me. It's driving me insane.

Okay I know he's not that broken, I'm here the one who is broken to the core. Imagining he laughs out louds with his filthy friends there, while i'm crying out loud with my filthy pillows here.

Frankly, I love him. Still. Nothing has changed inside of me. He knows I'm the one who's been wanting to get things back the way they used to be. Everyone knows. But once again, I need to wait.

Sometimes I say to my self not to hurt 'me' of waiting for so long. It's true. Its not guaranteed that he would come back to me. At least he said so. How pathetic.

Nothing really goes the way it's planned..

2009-12-15T19:52:00.000+07:00

this 18 months relationship finally came to an end, where the journey ends.
Ive learned loads of things and experienced everything.
Sometimes it turns out to a dreary lovelife, but the joy remain the same.

Thanks for everything, ncong

2009-11-17T06:17:00.000+07:00

She's such a freakin' pain in the ass as hell!
Well she's one of a friend of mine. You can say, she's one of my bestfriend either. But I hate her like super-hating, and this hatred seems to last longer and longer. I've ever had her as my best-ever-friend, and everysingle word she says turn out to be such a slut's word. Sorry, that's just true.

Friday I'm in ?

2009-10-23T18:30:00.003+07:00

Me my self, not going to write or brag abou my lovelife, or how much I detest my boyf now. It's kinda personal, thou.

School's been off since couple of days ago, what I thought is it would be a good time to studyyyyy LOL. Wait, I mean it. Really. Been thinking about being a doctor instead of being an ambassador. It pushes, motivates me to study everyday. Unless I have a keen to be a doctor, yeah maybe I will do the plan B (giggling) :p

I've made a plan for my future, simply well-organized. Just to let you guys know, it's kinda weird yet cool haha cross your fingers for me ya hihi =)

My mood's currently disorded, not to mention that super idiot boyf, but this particularly has something to do with my dad, he's being like a monster in the ass. He doesn't even allow me to go to BLG's shows on January even I've had the guts to ask his permission. He gave me big yammer and other shit talks (advices) that I didn't wanna hear. Not to mention my mom, I don't have any idea if she's becoming a step mother or whatever. She keeps yelling at me everytime I go to the kitchen to look for some food. Great. Hell to the o I know I've gained 2 kilos or more but so what? Do I have to eat once a day? I eat only 2 times a day ya please. And I don't really like snacking.

Enough babble-ing, am going to update my twitter and have a nice weekend, folks ;)

Saturday Night

2009-10-17T18:48:00.003+07:00

Yes it is saturday night. I love how it come along in every week of days. Its been more than two weeks (or so) I stayed at home everyday. Not going anywhere but that whatsoever school. Ive been pretty busy with school stuffs and didnt have enough time to post something like I used to do. My days were full of tests and homework and I can't help it.

I'm tired :(

And today is the only day I feel great at all. I supposed to meet him (since its been a long time) actually but he refused for a reason that I have to understand, like always.

Well guys, have you ever felt like a moron? I am now feeling that way. I'm super tired of everything about me and him, but don't have the guts to break us up. Its like I wanna shout : ENOUGH!

Birthday Bash

2009-10-08T17:35:00.004+07:00

Actually the party was thrown last week, on Oct 3rd. Friends were coming and I was simply excited. They're loveable. It was not a party actually, its just a simple dinner with some balloons hanging on the wall LOL. But turned out so exciting for me, thanks guys :))))))

And finally..

love you <3

17

2009-09-29T21:05:00.003+07:00

Yep!
I'm turning 17 today, and it feels good :)

Receiving messages from loads of friends. Birthday cake Tamy brought here. His coming. Everything.

Thanks ya Allah for letting me breathe and live longer until now, thanks for everything :)

Wish I could sing it someday to someone out there..

2009-09-25T10:14:00.002+07:00

* How gentle is the rain,
that falls softly on the meadow.
Birds high up on the trees,
serenade the clouds
with their melodies.*

Repeat *

Oh!
See there beyond the hill,
the bright colors of the rainbow.
Some magic from above.
Made this day for us, just to fall in love.
You'll hold me in your arms,
and say once again you'll love me.
And that your love is true,
everything will be just as wonderful.

Now, I belong to you,
from this day until forever.
Just love me tenderly
and I'll give to you
every part of me.

Oh!
Don't ever make me cry,
through long lonely nights without us.
Be always true to me,
keep this day in your heart eternally.

You hold me in your arms,

and say once again you love me.

And that your love is true,

everything will be just as wonderful.

- Lover's Concerto by Kelly Chen

Lee Min Ho

2009-09-04T15:02:00.011+07:00

Once again I'm letting this happen to me even if I don't want to. You guys know how much I despise everything that has something to do to Chinese, Korean and Japanese. Especially thie Korean series that constantly appears on our television in consecutive weeks. Ergh they're sickening ;(

Until one day,

There's a new Korean series which appeared for quite long time here in Indonesia. Boys Before Flowers. I could say, I hate-d it. Since people talked about it over and over again, it brought my curiousity up to the core. Until the point when I decided to buy the DVDs. So I downright watched it. Then all of the sudden I found it so interesting you know. I disn't notice the character of Goo Jun Pyo at the first place actually, but when I watched it more often, he became a phantom which constantly appears in my head. So the conclusion is, HE'S SO GORGEOUS! I don't like him physically but I love the way he attempts to get his love no matter how much obsticles he has to deal with. Yeah the lucky girl named Geum Jan Di. When you see him you would say that he was mean he wa jerk he has a heart of stone. But when you get to know him better you'd say that he's a definitely a guy you've been looking for HAHA at least thats what I was saying.

I finished them dvds all actually, and I was kind of satisfied with the ending. But I feel something's weird these days. Yeah I'm addicted to Jun Pyo, oops no I mean Lee Min Ho hahaha it's distracting and saddy when I realize that he's a superstar and there must be a lotta appealing girls around him. And it's sadder everytime I hear other girls talking about him. Like, my classmates. They keep talking and talking out loud, bragging how much they love him. It's daunting :(

Then I decided not to interfere.

My boyfriend told me that I had been such a maniac. And even when I supposed to celebrate our 15 months anniversary, I tended to keep talking and bragging about 'him' huaaaa I don't wanna be like this, I feel like moron.
I have some numbers of idol actually but never felt crazy like this before.

Well, this is not a remorse, I'll be his fan for ever, I promise ;-)

Them :')

2009-08-23T16:16:00.005+07:00

Wenda Kikie Rico Adam Timo
Me Sonya Aldo

Happy Fasting ;-)

2009-08-22T10:28:00.006+07:00

Morning all!

Since today is the first day of Ramadhan, I'd like to apologize for being sarcastic, impudence and being a bad friend of yours. I really need to refrain my self from being such a jerk like that okay I know.
Here I got a line of paragraph in al-quran about fasting :

Hai orang-orang yang beriman, diwajibkan atas kamu berpuasa sebagaimana diwajibkan atas orang-orang sebelum kamu agar kamu bertakwa,

It is actually fun to welcome Ramadhan this year you know, it always is :)

But so bad yeah, my school starts on 6.30 and what I thought is it would start on 7.30. That's why I hate that weird school. Isn't it just too early?
Okay I actually have nothing to do today, no plans, no dvds to watch, no games to play, what a boring day ;(

Lack of Post

2009-08-19T10:31:00.002+07:00

SORRY for lack of post huhu, Ive been pretty busy with school things, it's like I don't have much time to sit my ass in front of computer and start blogging, and my laptop is still off for some reasons.
Ive actually been wanting to post something, to update plurk, etc but sorry I couldn't and I can't. I'll be busier this year for my educational sake. I'll post and update in fewer frequency.

But I regularly update my twitter, so please follow and I'll follow you back ;-)

Bombers = idiots

2009-07-22T09:31:00.003+07:00

I'm now at school, after doing chems problems, and I can't quite believe that I could do it by my self huahaha :D

Then I just put my headset on and some songs played on my mp3. It severely turns my gloomy mode on :( Haaaah forget it!

By the way, ever since the bomb things, me and my brother are downright not allowed to go to any places like malls errrrr :( Its really getting on my nerves. I mean, what on earth are they trying to get from all the things that happened already? Satisfaction? Oh please, they're lots of children lost their father, people lost their friends, husband, people
hurt and blah blah.

Okay, enough blogging. I gotta study byeee

Sunday Morning

2009-07-19T10:37:00.002+07:00

I guess I need to get rid of those 'kid' things. I'm now 12th grader, which means I only have 8 months or more until those three days of UAN, being uptight with UAN like this is not a very first time for me, I've been there, 3 years ago, but eversince I stepped up into this fvckin high school world, everything seems so hard and downright irk. Anyway it's hard to interpret. And also I need a presence of a good friend to through this all, I have none. I mean I need 'the one' who really know me and you know typical bestfriend.
I don't need your commiserating at me for not having any 'bestfriends' no, really. I was born sceptic and impudent, and that's the way I face this potty world.
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My mood's currently disorded. I need a space where I could be alone and do whatever I want without even care what you guys saying.
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Actually, I had a fight with my mom and it's constantly haunting my mind since that day. I want a good mom, who notices my presence here in this house, who doesn't put special attention to her youngest child (read : fadil). I was mad to core and it really hit me in the head err
It's like I'm overthrown (Exaggerate)

Aaaah enough, I gotta take a bath and have a fun chitchat on the phone with ncong hehe
bye

Tired tired

2009-07-10T10:40:00.003+07:00

I think I gotta make some plans for my good and educational sake :] No I'm not going to write it down here, it's kinda personal tho.
I actually planned to go with Tamy today and meet some friends, okay to be frank, I'm craving frozen yoghurt HAHAHA But since 4 hours is not enough for us to hangout so we cancelled. And here I am, being homealoooneeee.

I got no idea why I feel so tired now, it's like I would sleep for the whole day. Yesterday wasn't a tiring day thou. Me and Ncong went to Plaza Semanggi and yeah for watching movie, ten-minutes-to-evening lunch, and you know, typical day out. I admit it was fun but not tiring. I reached home kinda earlier. I wouldn't break my curfew as my dad was home. It was ten minutes to nine if I'm not mistaken. Then I went to bed after having night phone call with Ncong and sleep. But argh I'm still sleepy. I'll probably go to bed after post this. My head starts to whirling around -_____-

Blank, Quote of the day

2009-07-07T17:06:00.002+07:00

It's been a while since my last post yeah. It's all because I don't have anything to write about or anything to be bothered about. Everything's going fine. So fine. My auntie from Makassar came and is going to make a skirt for me haha wait, but that's not the only reason why she came.

I actually don't have anything to write about now, maybe this quote I found can fill up my post today ;)

“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it is better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.”

Anyway this quote suits me for this time being..

Love Again <3

2009-07-01T18:13:00.006+07:00

Yep yep, I brokeup not more than 2 days HA-HA. So, I was nothing but moron person, indeed. I know now how much I need him by my side, and I thought yesterday wasn't the 'right' time for us to breakup. Sooooooo, after so much deliberating, we decided to begin our lovestory season 2 lalala (happy) So, 2 days ago, I went out for a last-date with him and we really meant last, I thought it would be fun enough but it turned out so not. I admit I was that sad so I didn't enjoy the date. And we actually seemed so hard to let everything ends just like that, especially the part when we were flashback-ing to a year ago when we began this journey as a couple, reminiscing every moments we spent together hihi how sweet :-P
And he gave me a present, um I mean, hand-made-present which is so nice and sweet,

What's written inside is EVERYTHING about us, particularly me ;D He made such a short story about us, which is called "CINTA CONDONG" (Condong as in NcongIndong -___-") .
It tells lotssssss. How we knew each other, how he surprised me by suddenly appeared in front of my face (it was a total blast), how the confession happened, how we spent our days together as a new couple aaaaa it tells everything.
What's best? He emphasized how much he adores me. So, why'd we have to breakup then? Which part of our 'story' that should be ditched afterward? err I'll figure it out later.
You know, I've always been dreaming about having a good boyfriend who knows me at all. And he's the only one who really suits me best after all these times :')

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Okay today was just another menial day, I woke up then hunted some foods to eat then sleep again and then went to the bathroom afterward. Oh yea I went to Gading with Septi and bought a new diary book. I've been wanting for Ncong to buy it for me actually huhu he promised me like, a month ago, because I've always wanted to have a diary book where I can vomit everything about my love life with Ncong. Because there's something I couldn't even share to him. Sometimes I need a space where I can spill every details about me and him without even telling him a word (droning)

To be frank, I ate much today, I had double portion breakfast, and single portion of KFC including chicken and rice and a regular size of french fries. Guess what? I'm now starving and need something straightly to eat err

p.s : I might've gained 2 kilos or moreeeeeee

Sad Sad

2009-06-28T11:47:00.003+07:00

I actually got nothing to post here, now. I thought my relationship with him is enough. I just texted him like, a minute ago, to end our fight and also all the things we've been through.

Yeah it's over already

-----------------------------------------(crying)---------------------------------------------

Yesterday was another dull day, I stayed at home and just went out for daily-needs-shopping with mom and dad. And that's it. SuperBoring.
Oh yeah, I'm now one of 12th grader in SMAN 21 HAHAHA, you know how much I despise new classmates, especially those who bother prioritizing popularity, obsessed to be one of yearbook-committee, and all they care about is shoes, like wearing the right colors make them 'superior' hemmmmm, speaking of colors, my friends noticed that all I wear is all about orange. Yeah I love that color no matter what happens. Wearing everything in that color makes me more confident instead of makes me superior ;D
Okay enough, I'm crying, a lot, so I have to go, bye

Just a few line of words

2009-06-24T21:31:00.000+07:00

Today's incident has got me thinking, adult-hood is extremely dangerous LOL

I think my most-waited days of this month will be such ordinary days, superboring. THANKS dad!

Random

2009-06-19T12:44:00.003+07:00

June 17th '09 on the way home

I'm a kind of girl who spills every little details about anything to her boyfriend. And it's not bad, isn't it?
At least much better than a boy who prefers to shut his mouth and tends to listen what his girlfriend's saying.
Therefore, I banned him from keeping any secret things for me, and stop deluding me, no matter it will impinge me or not.

Nowadays, I tend to treat my boyfriend in a discreet way, cause I think discreetly treating him will prevent us from fighting. I have a high optimism at least. But you girls know that you would hate it when you find out that there's an appealing girl around your boyfriend. Right?

Enough about boys
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I had a pagelaran (what do we call pagelaran in english?) on June 12th. And it went so gooood and ended succesfully! I couldn't quite believe that pakpakers were doing really great. Many thanks hugs and kisses for you guys ;-)
The show was full of surprises from each participants. And what best is teachers were impressed hihi it's all written over their faces. It's like they're saying 'HOW FASCINATING'
(exaggerating)

Ohyeah, the name of the show is CRASCIO as in Creativity and Art of Science Two. It was like a tunnel of goodbye you know, it closed all the things that happened in science two, and remained all memories of being one of science two student which is soooo fun. Perpetuating solidarity in this class is not a simple thing to do anyway, particularly when everyone belongs to separated groups and it seemed like there's a big boundary between one group to another
(sorry for exaggerating)

Bythewayyyyy, yesterday I read 'BUKU PINTAR' and I opened the page where the horoscope and shio were explained. And it was accurate, it suits my personality, and everything. And based on my shio and horoscope, it's written :
Libra yang ber shio Monyet adalah ----> Monyet yang berpindah2 dari dahan satu ke dahan yg lain ;(;( how irritating, I'm not a kind of person like that. And I'm not a monkey. Hell no, really.

Frankly I don't believe any bloody things in what both horoscope and shio tell me. It's just for fun ;D

Romantic mode : ON

2009-06-19T11:49:00.004+07:00

Colorful time with 'em ;-)

2009-06-11T19:59:00.007+07:00

Charolina Kezia Sari Indah

Classssss

2009-06-09T20:12:00.006+07:00

Have you ever felt like no one listen to you?
Have you ever felt like being ignored?
Have you ever let your parents do whatever they want without even listening to what you're trying to say?

Okay, forget it, whatever.

This is factually the last week for me to be one of science 2 student. All laughter and grief is still attached in my mind and it's possibly stay for a quite long time.
I used to hate this class, because none of them were my friends, I mean I did know the names, particularly, not all of them. Some faces just showed up and I felt like totally stranger. Then the feelings finally dwindled down as I'm getting closer to everyone and getting to know them much better.
Pranks and all stupid jokes are going to be a loss. Things that switch my badmood into the good one, as always. It's all because of science 2.
But I found out that we're not that solid you know, everyone belongs to separated groups and it's kind of crap. And it seemed so lack of fun.

I hope the upcoming third grade will be double fun amen! (yeah only time will tell lah)

LOOKLET

2009-06-07T09:18:00.007+07:00

Well, I knew this site from some friends, then I signed up to make my own account and created some new looks

check these out :

Shitty Studying

2009-06-04T20:49:00.004+07:00

I totally can't wait for tomorrow which is the last day of exaaaaam!

My head aches as if it's going to explode. Studying maths physics biology chems is so not a good thing. At least for me. And what worse is tomorrow I'm going to run for about six laps. And it can't be good.
And for finance, you know I totally broke myself. And now I'm really wanting some times to shop. Wo-hoo my puberty is finally coming wekekeke

Oh yeah, my teacher has always been saying to me,
' you're able to do it because you've got use to it '
which means
' bisa karna biasa '
You know what, it sounds simple, so simple but it affects me a lot. I'm motivated, and I hope it will stay longer puhleaseeee, I need motivation, not just another pressure :'(

Lovey-Lovey <3

2009-06-02T15:26:00.008+07:00

1'st year anniversary with Ncong hehehehe

reminiscing what we've been through, hm bunch of memories, lots of laughter and pain, and so much tears. So many things which is so hard to interpret.
I'm currently happy and in romance mood for this couple of days. My love story with him was so kind of tale of woe, but it turned out so sweet and nice

I know, this love is not an immortal tale. I mean, I'm still kiddo, there's still a long way to undergo. But for the time being, I'm so into him. Ow, if you could know how much I love you booooy.
I don't want this to be like, disorded, got it? I wanna love that will last somehow wehehe

Okay now,
school time!
I'm now having exams which is f**kin' hard in consecutive days. And I failed in Math, I guess. I can't quite believe that I couldnt do it. I mean, math is one of subjects which is you know, accesible, right? And I surely believe that I had studied, I quizzed, I solved some 'severe' questions, and for what? for nothing!

I'm not in the mood for blogging right now, and it's all because of my brain-dead brother that is super-annoying, i wish he would die NOW

Random, Unnecessary

2009-05-24T18:27:00.005+07:00

I'M SUCH A COWARD

I don't know why but I think I really am.

Hm, today I ate out with my big family which includes 3 families in. And I was totally full afterward. But that's the point, after losing some weights uhm which I mean there's only 2kilos lost, my trait has just came up again yeaaah you know, having double portion of food(s). Shoot! So, I skipped my dinner today. Overall, that was just a menial day-outing.

Frankly, I hate it when I know that I'm totally recovered from dengue fever yesterday. Wooof!

You know what? I've been realizing this moment, life is too short to be lived. And you'll never know what's around the next corner of your life. I find it hard to undergo this phase of life, I mean the phase when I'm growing up and finding my own identity and also making my dream come true.

I'm not a girl without any dreams to be reached, of course I do.

I am now perfectly happy being what I am, being where I am, being surrounded by people I love. Nothing can pierce my happiness at this moment.

But sometimes I feel that life is more indecent than I expected. But we have to keep it going somehow, don't we?

I feel like fall asleep now. So, me off, ciao!

A song for us babe, I guess

2009-05-22T11:18:00.003+07:00

Just once,

Can't we figure out what we keep doing wrong?

Why the good times never last for very long?

What are we doing wrong?

Just once,

Can't we find a way to finally make it right?

And make the magic last for more than just one night

If we could just get to it

I know we could break through it

- Just Once by James Ingram

nb : Big thanks for Devi who recommends this song to me. Its really so me and him, lol

Being Lied (again)

2009-05-18T19:31:00.004+07:00

One thing that is confusing me for quite some times is :

LOVE

How could I come up with this topic you may ask?

Sure, I had a fight my bf yesterday, call me jelousy cause I really am. Feeling insecure all the times is horrible. Me actually hating him for being a liar. He promised me already, not to keep lying about his whatsoever friends. But yesterday he seemed to be trying to pull out of the deal.

I'm such a deluded moron

When I saw some photos tagged on his facebook, I felt a jolt of alarm Then I discreetly asked him about it, then he finally spilled everything about it with a same reason that is super-loathsome.

Frankly, I got a lot of things to say and share about my moron-but-lovable-boyfriend but I'm so not in the mood for blogging things. Beside, my mom actually doesnt allow me to go online cause I have to stay in bed and sleep, then eat and fill up my mouth with those fuckin medicines and vitamins. It's a form of mothercare, isn't it? Or not.

If only I could choose, twice.

2009-05-13T09:28:00.003+07:00

Living life in this potty world is not a simple thing to do. Sometimes what we want finally comes upshort. And sometimes what we don't want comes in very perfect way. But life is all about choice, really. We choose every major things or minor. And now the problem is,

"Have we chosen what best for us after all these times?"

Well I guess not.

Every choice that have to be chosen is a mystery that we can't ever forecast or something like that. So, can we say that choice equals as puzzles of life?

We all do mistakes in choosing.

So do I.

When you starts building a relationship, have you been thinking that it would turn you down in the end? We all know, not every relationship ends happily ever after. It's not a fairy tale, people.

When you picks a school to go, have you thought I mean, really thought that it has a poor state of quality? Like, my school. I really made a stupid mistake in choosing school.

When you go for shopping with your pals, have you been thinking about breaking your self in the end? Lucky me, I hate shopping. I used to say "Oh shoot, I broke my self" after going somewhere to shop.

Just a moment ago my dad asked me to choose something that I could't even choose. At least for now.

He said :

"Do you realize what you have here? I mean, it's a big chance for you to take"

Oh of course,dad. But I just don't wanna have something to regret about in the near future. Come on, it's not a play thing. I f only I could choose, uhm maybe twice.

Adam Lamberg as David Gordon

2009-05-11T20:40:00.004+07:00

Oh goodness, Doesn't he look cute? ahaha I guess not for you, but for me, he's so awsoomee. Well, since he appeared on Lizzie McGuire series as Gordo, I put him on my most-adorable-guys list. But it turned out not, because he's the one that I adore in life haha

Then he became a phantom in every single dream of mine. And all of the sudden, I became a Lizzie McGuire addict, not because it includes Gordo in, but I just love it. I saw it at my english course for the first time, then I collected Lizzie mcGuire series or sometimes watched it on youtube.

You Know What??

I googled him a year ago (if i'm not mistaken) then I found out that he's being soo different. But still, I love him ;-)

Bestpal Polepal

2009-05-10T22:20:00.005+07:00

Raudhy's house

Happy Being Kiddos

2009-05-10T19:35:00.004+07:00

Sometimes I ask too many questions, can't also resist any temptation of foods, then maybe I'm lack of passion for fashion.

But that's me. Well I mean, that's the real me.

I'm not pretending to be someone else anyway. And I found out that it feels so good being how i really am. I just don't care about what people around me, I don't care about being popular, or trying to be the 'best' among other 'best' people. Because I found out that there's a lot more things that I have to do than I thought there was.

My mom and dad told me that there will be some times when I would consider being 'grown up' or something like that. But until now, when I'm apparently almost 17, I'm still happy being kids. Though I do date, I do know how to love, but I don't have the guts to do something more like others do. And I wish I wouldn't. Not to mention about those things anyway.

Well, I tend to do everything with my parent's permission. Being uptight is not that bad. Though they loose my curfew since I finally turned 15, but still, it wont be enough for other teens outthere.

I'm not allowed to do so many things that others do, like, smoke. I don't smoke. And I also don't go to some places by my self. But I don't feel like I'm too uptighten, it's proper rules that I deserve to do. Call me childish cause I really am.

When other girls mostly talk about how to look gorgeous or how to attract boys perfectly, I mostly talk about where I should buy delicious ice cream with low price.

When other girls do day-outing, I keep lying on my bed extending my leg listening to the musics.

When other girls spend their times by chatting on the phone, asking their friends out, I spend my times by watching Lizzie mcGuire series I've collected.

When other girls spend their money by shopping, I spend my money by doing stationary shopping to fill up my pencil case haha

I'm mad when I don't get what I want. And I don't attempt to get it thou. Call me childish cause I really am.

So, why should you such in a hurry to grow up? Can't you just be happy being kids?

This is my scrutiny of what I'm feeling and I merely talk about this here, in my blog :)

Mobile Mobile

2009-05-06T08:12:00.004+07:00

I'm now at school, tepatnya pelajaran biologi. Boring. Sleepless night have got me bad. It was raining so hard til' I couldn't sleep for about 2-3 hours. Aaah I really wanna go home.
Everything's duller.
Yesterday I skipped one-day-school. I was too lazy to wake up that early. And I finally had one-hour private lesson. It's worth chems class I had skipped yesterday. Anyway yesterday was my grandma's birthday yeah! But it'll be celebrated on this upcoming saturday. And what I got from insider (read : septi) is my cousins and all 'prawiro soedarmo's' family member will come from Kebumen and give her a surprise! woohoo I love that.

I can't wait! XD

Off I go, folks!

Lots to tell

2009-05-05T21:13:00.001+07:00

Well I attended my classmate's birthday bash last saturday. Yeah, too late to tell I know. It was held at Cardamon at Grand Indonesia. I actually went to FX first with my bf hehe and he took me to GI afterward. We had been waiting for that day cause you know, me and my classmates are way too hard to gather around in some places but class.

So, we took a lotta photos and ate much haha what will you fear about when you go for buffee dinner? fats? oh big no no.

I enjoyed the day. All the girls wore proper attire but gorgeous. Anyway, thanks for the party dol and Happy Birthday ;-)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hm my bf is going to Kudus which is his hometown. But you know what? He was born in Japan and I didn't believe that. Since He brought me his 'rapor' and showed me, I finally trust him.

Come home soon ya bey :(

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm piqued. I'm annoyed with somebody who said that a blog which only tells about daily activities or something like that is not good. Well, I know I'm not good in writing. And I don't have any other things to tell. Maybe I almost never had any special experiences that I could share. But for me, everything in every single day of my life is special. And I'm glad that you don't feel the same way with me.

I have a vulnerable mood and I'm now in the mood when I feel like, being alone is much better. I don't wanna acknowladge that I feel lonely or whatever. But I enjoy it. It's for my soul sake anyway haha.

You know what? I've been thinking about posting in full-indonesian.

Mobile Posting

2009-04-29T13:09:00.001+07:00

What I hate about Wednesday is everything feels sooo LAMA that I couldn't even help it (grr sleepy mode attacks)
Now,
I'm at school, after doing dzuhur prayer, no meals no chacha no pulpy orange, I absolutely broke my self. I hate it everytime I look into my wallet haha. Never thought that I could be like this :( well after this, is bahentat's timeeee grr! I'm a bit poor about her (read : her ass). I wanna ditch it, uhm meaning, I wanna skip it. I wanna go home noooow! Just let me go home!

Oh what can I actually do?

2009-04-25T13:23:00.000+07:00

Remembering what just happened a week ago,

Me and my mom and my dad were watching tv when finally he said "Kamu kayak cewe itu dong, punya skill dlm bidang financial, coba kamu liat tuh banyak kan cewe2 yang bakatnya macem2. kamu bisa apa?"

Geeeeeeezzzz, the last time I thought abuout it em, few years ago (if i'm not mistaken). And I've never thought about it ever since that time.

Well, it got me keep asking to my self, reminiscing what happened in my past and it was just nothing. So I keep wondering how could I be in the future. Whoaaa scaring!

When I was kiddy, my mom signed me up in many random competition of fashion and singing. Don't blame her, she didn't notice if her little girl would grow older in 'weird' body shape. She'd curse her self if she had known it earlier. And I constantly won the competition loh ahaha. But I'ts not a sustainable joy I had because it didn't stay any longer because as I was getting older, I lost my passion. I lost my self-confidence. My mom always said that it's an eternal loss.

So, I switched from entertainment (halah) to writing like novel, short stories. But I finally found out that I can deal with the fact that I have to keep sitting my ass in front of computer without going anywhere, hua boring! But some told me that I was good at it haha

And finally, I still don't have anything to be interested in, until NOW. So sad huauhauaa

An unexpected coming haha blast!

2009-04-23T21:45:00.000+07:00

Having bad fight yesterdays and last night apparently made him feeling guilty and presuming his self to come to my house. Without me knowing it ofcourse. Then when he finally arrived, I was just wondering why would he come when i was downright not in the mood to meet or even talk to him.

But I appreciated that. He was such a good ice-breaker, he made me sure that there's no need for me to keep getting mad at him. And it switched my badmood mode to off well, good job!

It was kind of blast for me thou, ;-D

Well, basicly I have a problem in trusting someone (I've talked about it if i'm not mistaken). It's weird you know. Most people can easily admit everything and trust everything without even thinking for hundreds of times. But it's not working out on me. It is probably caused of my dreary experience in the past. I was a kind of girl who just couldn't resist any temptations you know, especially about boys. It was sucks.

Maybe I have to constantly thank to God for giving me him. Because you know, he is the only one who i can trust and believe in. And I crave him so much huahauhaha ;D

Ehem, did you notice that today's posting mostly talk about love? hm hm hm i actually don't like talking about love. It's scary whoaa! ehm I mean, complicated.

Add his fb yaa --->Click here

Hm Hm Hm

2009-04-21T18:43:00.000+07:00

Hellooooooo, me coming with new layout haha ;-D Guess what? My broken notebook (for those who clueless, read my previous posting on March 4th) has been totally repaired haha my dad actually doesn't want me to know but my mom is my hero somehow. So I'm now using this cursed-or-blessed notebook for the very first time after being repaired hehe.

Ehm, let me tell you about what just happened today.

Well, today i was out for lunch with my friend ehm bf :$ since there's no one could take me there so i went by angkot and i was kinda terribly blessed today bacause i met someone who i had never expected to meet. He's my ex-crush when I was in junior high school. It was good to know that I could meet him but it turned out not. Definitely NOT.

Have you guys ever had a crush on someone for quite long times? And how do you feel if your ex-boyfriend blamed you for keep crushing on him? And how if you're commited in ten-months-relationship but you feel like living with his shadow over your head? You dont want it but you just can't resist.

I'm undergoing the phase when I feel like, you know, speechless. My bf is gloomy, so am I. I didn't plan for this kind of stuff to happen. He is mad at me, and i dont have any idea what to do. I just want him to know that I care about him :)

Hm I think I better end this posting, I'm webcaming with tamy now ;D

Attention

2009-04-14T19:35:00.000+07:00

Sorry i'm super duper not in the mood to post any postings. So i'll be away for a moment from blogging 'things'. See you ;-)

school? ewr - catching up with bespal polepal

2009-03-31T15:45:00.000+07:00

Hm i didn't go to school yesterday cause i was having cold so bad. but i told arsy that i was late. why? haha i know that if i told her that i was sick, she wouldnt believe me. hm but i really was, people!
then, today i get one-day-holiday and its all because of our senior would've had test ehm i mean try out for the hundred of times. i cac't imagine how could i be when i 'm in the third grade. you know i've been so damn tired of school life. it's not about what i learn but it's about how they teach us. i perfectly didn't match with some teacher in my school ehm i mean with their way to teach us. Wait, there's something i dont like about my school. yep, it's all about friends. I dont really like them anyway. However, some are good, some are jerks.

Well, talking about friends, last saturday i went to pim with tamy. it was totally fun (oh riva, you shoudlve been there) we chatted lots, laughed out loud, walking with superduperabnormal style. But i was bit having cold so i didnt really enjoy the day. Anyway, we find it hard to catch up each other you know. Been so excited so i forgot my problems at that time hehe.

Saturday, March 28th 2009 @ Pim

First, she came by to my house and we headed up to pim for having lunch. we were so starving anyway haha. And we did some 'fitting' and took a lotta photos. i miss her really much ;(

Kota Tua, Broken Digicam

2009-03-27T14:55:00.000+07:00

well, in this posting, i'll take you guys to the day before today, just call it YESTERDAY.

Yesterday, me and some friends went to Kota Tua. We had planned for this kind of stuff to happen (lebay) for almost a month. And i was so happy that finally i could go there with them. We went there only for taking some pictures and photos. but hell yeaaa it was so crowded and we found it hard to take some gooooood pict there. beside it was so HOT and CROWDED and FULL of 'hicks' grr but it doesnt mean that we gave up haha, still, we took pictures lots and lots like these :

lunch timeeee ;-)

'bank mandiri' Museum

there's a bunch of more photos in olin's camera and mine also. i thought the camera was fine though sometimes i need to restart it in everytime i captured a photo. well what i didnt know is the memory card was NOT fine at all. So, after taking lots of photos of me and others i made sure that those were succesfully saved. yes they were. so i put my camera in when we're going home, hmm wilo's house for sure. when i turned it on to review all photos, i dont haveany idea why the camera said (it's written) ''no memory card'' heeeek! i tried to open it by cardreader but it just didn't work out. Soooooo, it means that all photos from 2007 to now had been removed. damnit bgt kaaaaaaaan? ergh
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dear, Mr. Sayfrul Whoever
I really appreciate you as my teacher, you tought me really nice and gave me good points after all these times. i knew that you were too kind to us. But i can't help it. I was so totally damn mad of you. i dont have any idea why you got mad at me today. You said that i didn't pay any attentions in your class. well it's true. but i din't make any noises, did I? you act like i was the one to blame. no you really got it wrong. I didn't like you at all. Since you blamed me for the first time at chems lab. i was copying Lucky's physics note, and my friend poked me so i turned back aafor only 5 seconds. And damn you were, you flared up and again, i was the one to blame. i hate it. so, start today, i hate you more and more and i dont care much about anythng you tought. i could learn it by myself or i could discuss with my professional-private lesson- teacher. hahahaha

xoxo muach muach Mr Syafrul Whoever bye

Quote of The Day

2009-03-20T12:18:00.000+07:00

" Only the people i love can hurt me, so i figured if i don't love i wont get hurt "

.

too much mascara = infected

2009-03-20T11:03:00.000+07:00

damn right baby! today i didnt head up to school because of my eyelid swelling and it came into a big one this morning. so, my mom took me to the doctor and what i thought is : my eye will be injected (like one of my clasmate said) and it will be kinda bloody. so you think? hell NO! haha my eye was lubricated (mentega kali) with some kind of ointment and finally covered by cotton. and it would be like this :

me piece-ing lol

oyea, the doctor said that i wear mascara just too often. and from now on, i wouldn't seem to use any mascaras huhu. but who care? as long as its good, why not? soooooo no matter how mascara extremely dangerous for my eyes, i would extremely decided that i won't stop using it. LOL!

well i was so damn relieved that today i wouldnt meet bahentat. haha i had a little fight last wednesday and it messed up my remedial. i hate to note all about that but it seemed nuts anyway. but you know what? i missed some times i wouldve spent with my beloved crazy classmates. hmm i wonder if they made some stupid videos without me. well stupid videos? you guy can take a look in wilona's---> click here

hey are you guys starving? i guessi am. so off i go, bye ;);)

(whispering): "can't wait the next thursday. semoga jadi. amin"

2007 was the best and the worst

2009-03-17T19:02:00.000+07:00

i can barely remember exactly how it could be my favourite year. But i exactly remember how it could be the worst.

first,
it was the first year for me to be a high school student. it was so hard knowing that i had to be separated from my alazka's friends esp. Tamy huhu :( but so nice having crazy new friends and clasmates in x-2 hehe i miss 'em

well,
i was gifted to have one very close friend, who has made my life more 'life' than before. but he left me when i finally realized that i was so into him. i never imagined how could he be. he just said that he had a crush on me, he asked me if he could be my bf and even when i said 'sorry bla bla, i just wanna be your bestfriend' he kept treating me like he still had a crush on me. and just like what i said, he left me when i knew that i was in love with him.

next,
i was close enough to someone who is one of my (censored). He treated me so nice so that i thought that we're more than just (censored) but once again, he treated me well at first but he was turning into jerk! ergh he was being different so i just left him anyway haha

the worst part is,
my beloved grandpa in makassar passed away on august 16th. my mom texted me when i was in biology class at school. I cried lots and lots no matter what when and how everybody stared at me. and you know what? not more than 5 months later, my beloved grandpa who i lived with since i was born just passed away on november 11th and i loved him really much :'( i dont wanna talk about it right now. i mean i can cry a river just now.

oh if only you could feel how i miss that time.

brokeen kan

2009-03-04T18:30:00.000+07:00

yeah, my beloved notebook was totally broken, well not totally i mean, i don't even know what's wrong with it. i was listening to the mp3s a couple of days ago when it totally switched off (without me switching it off of course). and suddenly there was weird-unknown-sound like 'nuuuuuuut' from my laptop right away. i couldn't stop it, so i took the battery out and thanks god it stopped. so i wait until the next day to switch it on again, i thought it was okay because the blue sign was on. but the LCD didn't react anything. i mean i got no response. shit.
my dad took it to the service central and i find it hard to browse internet. i have to use my daddy's one which is my ex-notebook. oh i hate it when he took it from me. you know what? it was the last gift from my late grandpa. oh i miss him really much. it's benn more than a year since he left us. see you 'there' opa :(

today wasn't really good, my badmood mode was on endlessly haha

what a sunday!

2009-03-01T18:13:00.000+07:00

sunday,it remains me of one of my favourite song 'sunday morning'. but i guess it's already late to feel the fresh morning air. Actually last night i got my bf was lying to me and i guess i'd never know if i didn't ask him first. and my thought was just about right. he lied to me. twice. i felt guilty for being so possesive and made him lied. i know he didn't plan for those kind of stuff to happen. but i'm sorry baby, i don't like being lied anyway haha who does? yeah, i wish i could change but you'll never know what's inside my heart ok? cie
well, i'm a bit confused about 'white lie'. actually that was what my bf did. he lied because he was trying not to make me mad at him. but that's not what i want him to. white lie? why do we have to tell a lie when it's possible still to say the truth? i mean, we deserve the best if we could tell the truth. everything has their own way out. aaand, enough for today, bye ;-)

school posting

2009-02-19T07:54:00.000+07:00

secret hihi ;p

well, its been a long time yea? now im at school doing nothing but having fun chat with icha olin arsy. theyre my classmates since i got into this eleventh grade. idk why i feel so dizzy nd sleepy like im gonna fall asleep right now. maybe it caused of lastnight-visiting my teacher who just suffer from her illness (bit exaggerate). i reached home at 11pm and i have to wake up from my sleepless-sleep at 5am this morning. so it means that i only slept for about less than 5 hours. Let me go home,people! ;(

future plan yeay

2009-01-24T19:25:00.000+07:00

yeyeye that's what i feel, everything is just boring nowadays. i have no interest in hanging out with some friends and even with my bf. i have no interest in listening to my fav musics and guess what? i slept over and over today and only left my bedroom for some supper and then yea i slept again with various 'stupid' dreams. talking about dreams, i dreamt about him you know who lah ya, then there's one girl who i absolutely know that she adored him long time ago, and she came over me (in my dream yg jelas) and said

her : "hey, i'm pregnant and you gotta know who this baby belongs to"

me : "sure the baby is all yours........."

her : "i mean you gotta know who his daddy is"

me : "okay, so who?"

her : "your bf, he's his daddy and he has to know that the baby will be born"

me : "*&^%&%*^%$$"

stupid kan tuh? hahaha perhaps because of me judging him for being centil lol :D btw, yesterday i talked much about my future plan with my mom and the result is :

1. i will graduate from high school with amazing nem

2. UNPAD HI and UI HI

3. pass the CPNS and work at immigration office with my uncle's help for sure

4. if i could pass the number 3, i will move to university which provide extension program

5. driving my own car for work and lecture things

why i really mean to work after graduating hingh school is because of my family support. they want me to be 'pegawai negri' while there's still my uncle who can help me. sounds like cheating but why not? well, though i have a heart of stone but i'm a kind of person who relay on this : obeying what our parents say will reveal the best result yeay!

that's what my mom always says hehe

enough for todaaay bye ~

puncak oh puncak

2009-01-18T14:51:00.000+07:00

today was kinda boring, spending whole day with nothing to do makes me wanna out for some window shopping or whatev ergh

talking about few days ago, yeah it was fun spending days with my lovely girls haha been wanting it to be repeated once again but it's kinda hard. getting my dad's permission was so hard and it forced mega to call him and talked to him about our puncak plan hehe she was nervous but finally my dad allowed me to go. thnks mega ;-) what i thought is we would go earliet in the morning but mega's car seemed want to be checked up first. so we (arum,ame and me) waited in my house cause mega told us that she would pick us up ASAP. yeah it was 9 already. we had been waiting for almost 3 hours til we decided to go to mega's house without waiting for her car. finally we went to puncak so lately in the afternoon and we arrived there at 7 pm. o yea fyi, i went to puncak with 6 of my friends (mega ame lita inas arum and me) and also mega's brother (saidi), and driver and the last is wiwin haha btw, i love the foggy weather and rainy season there cause they made everthing feels so coooold hehe but poor ame, she didnt seem enjoy the trip cause she was like flu and fever. but there's something strange with her, the 'flu things' like fever cough and dizzy only relapsed when she's stay at the villa, and when we're out with her and do something fun she didnt seem like she was sick before, lol!

we spent our first night there by playing uno and card which we call the game as 'tepok nyamuk'. we played, laughed, chatted about lots of things and about Lita. poor she was, she was always be the one who we making fun of, laughing at, and talking about haha everthing she did was always wrong and funny esp when we're out to taman safari, we really enjoyed the times no matter rain didnt seem to stop, but still, we enjoyed the games and all of the things we did. these friends of mine were my bestfriends anyway. and i love spending times with 'em. on the last night, we finally ate roasted corn (jagung bakar) in puncak and once again, i love the foggy weather haha and lucky us, we met one 'stupid' man which we usually call as pengamen. well, stupid? not stupid like you guys think anyway, he was so incompetent, and he made us laughing lots and lots. i'd like to upload the video but maybe next time okey?

and yesterday was the day when we had to go home, time passed so quickly and actually it was such a simple trip, nothing really special but you know what, everything will seem double fun when you spend it with your lovable friends around you ;-)

i love rain

2009-01-14T08:32:00.000+07:00

rainy season. sleeping beauty.

yeaa i love sleeping in this rainy daysss and i love it when i know that it was raining when i just woke up this morning. well, harusnya hari ini tuh libur sampe jumat. gue sm temen2 gue udh planning ke puncak hari ini sampe jumat. buuuuuuut, my friend told me that it's cancelled. so i have to go to school though there will be no teachers teaching us. because some of them are going to singapore (how riddiculuous) and some of them stay.

so, i called some friends and asked them if they come or not. but most of them decided to stay at home. yea i thought i wanna stay but my mom told me that i have to go to school no matter if it's raining or not. okay, i prepared my self and finally i'm on the way. sampe nya di depan sekolah, gue bingung kenapa semua pada pake baju pramuka. i didnt even notice that my brother wore that too. akhirnya gue memutuskan buat pulang dan ganti baju dulu dirumah. soalnya pintu gerbang kan masih dibuka sampe jam 8. sampenya gue dirumah, gue jd males brgkt lagi. i texted my friend and asked him :

me : "belajar ngga hari ini?"

him : "guru nya ngga msk kelas, tserah mau dateng apa ngga"

me : "brp orang yg masuk?"

him : "10 orangan gitu"

me : "yeeeeeeeeeeeeees!"

berarti kalo pun di absen kira2 yg ga masuk ada 30 orangan, huahaha puas gue. mamam deh tuh sekolah lagian pake liburnya di cancel2 dasar ribet. oiya, one of my friend texted me and told me that we're going to puncak tomorrow. what the hell are they thinkin? kalo macet gmn? kalo banjir gmn? kalo ujan gmn? you knoe wat? hard for me to ask my dad if i could come or not huhu

see ya lah ya

sunday morning

2009-01-11T14:41:00.000+07:00

gue bete. bete karna kemarin tuh sabtu dan artinya sekarang hari minggu dan artinya lagi besok tuh udah senin. i'm one of those who relay on 'i hate monday' or something like that. belom lagi hari rabu pada ngajakin ke puncak. i dont think dad will let me there. you know what? my dad such a so-longtime-ago daddy for me. i've been so damn-protected for all my life. and i just cant let him setting me up like i'm his robot grr but i believe sih, he has his very own reason (no matter if it's nonsense or whatev) and actuallyyyy, i feel it anyway. i knoe, he doesnt want me to be someone like a badgirl haha but anyway, every kind of girl can be like that, who doesnt??

tapi gue seneng kok jadi anak rumahan kayak gini haha i can do a lot of fun things here like karaoke or watching dvd well, i love movieees but not a moviefreak jugaaa. i'm only interested in some kind of movies without any speciality like action,horror,cartoon etc. everything's just the same for me, as long as they're good to watch and have good quality and easy for me to get the point. soalnya kadang2 gue suka males sama film yg ceritanya bertele2 trus ujung2nya sad ending. najis gue benci bgt yang kayak gitu. atau kalo ngga yg akhir2nya nge gantung gak jelas gimanaaa gitu. ngga niat bgt bikin film :p

okay enough for today seeeee yaa

ooooow

2009-01-09T20:54:00.000+07:00

ooooowwww my gosh deh ya, after having some little unvaluable fights yesterdaysssss, everything has just changed. i dont know why and neither does he. i know its so unfair for him but yea once more i tell you guys, there's something i cant deal with him. we have different perspective and different point of view and we dont always have same agreements cause when i agree, he doesnt, when he agrees, i dont. so what we call it? but forget it anyway lah ya. yang penting gue udah adem ayem sama dia thou everything's being different now. ya gue juga ngga gimana2 lagi pokoknya motto hidup gue sekarang I DONT CARE! kalo ngomongin sayang sih masih kok, sayang banget malah. tp ya gue juga mau belajaar yg namanya ga curigaan and the bla and the ble

forget about lovelife, off to (fucking) school life ya, honestly i'm tired of school stuff, i dont think last holiday is long enough cause i want more anyway anyhow and i want it right now! my brain-dead isn't enough to filled with some 'unimportant' subjects for exmple like physics and chems. and all teachers are devil in my nightmare (exaggerate) they wash my brain and kill it slowly but sure huehehe

ngomongin sekolah bikin gue ngantuk ya ck bye

dating isn't always a good idea (for me)

2009-01-05T19:30:00.000+07:00

yayaya having centil bf is not a goooooood idea! apalagi yg persahabatannya bagai kepompong err ga bisa di pisah2in kayak apaan tau. well i hate a gus like that. i hate a guy rho can easily making friend and having a really tight friendship til i can differ if its friends or TTM! bukannya gue ngga percaya dia sayang atau apalah tp gue ga biasa sama org2 kayak gitu. that's why i suggest to breakup sometimes cause i cant deal with it, really cant. apalagi kalo dia curhat sama temennya. trus ntr mereka pasti nyalahin gue. seakan2 gue tuh tega bgt sm ncong dan dia tuh udah sabar banget buat gue. you dont know meeee,people! you dont know how it feels to be me sih, dasar ribet. lagian as long as gue ga kenal mereka, i dont really care, ok?

actually there's many more that i wanna tell but my annoying brutha is here! bye

n.b : ntar ada part 2 nya tunggu yaaaaaaaaaaaa

sahabat? uh oh

2009-01-05T19:00:00.000+07:00

gue punya sahabat, yg sebenernya baru gue kenal pas gue masuk SMA, they've been such a good friends for me, even best malah hehe.. pas kelas satu kita sih masih so stick w/ each other ya. but it didnt last long. sejak kelas 2 kita kan jadi beda kelas. ada yg IPA ada yg IPS. it's hard for us to hang around together or even just to go to canteen gitu. paling cuma gue berempat (yg IPA) sedangkan mereka yg di IPS lebih sering spending time bareng temen2 sekelasnya. sebenernya sih ngga masalah juga ya whether mereka mau lebih sering bareng siapa atau siapa kek. doesnt really matter for me. Tapi akhir2 ini gue kangen aja sm mereka. pengen jalan bareng lagi dll. Ngomongin sahabat yeah i have one good gorgeous bestfriend who i call bespal polepal hihi yeah she's Dyana Pastria Utami yg sekarang ngga satu sekolah lg sm gue. Dia tuh cantik, anggun, alim and bla bla haha yg jelas she had been such a very gooooood friend for me when we're in junior high school. apalagi pas kita bermasalah sama 'duo jabs' yg pernah jadi sahabat kita juga.. well bestfriend doesnt always be 'good' bestfriend anyway. kita (gue sama tami) ngejauhin mereka (duo jabs) gara2 kelakuan mereka yg minus banget dimata masyarakat ckck trus kita juga sering deket sama yg lain, ngobrol, jalan bareng gitu2 tp tiap kali ada aja pikiran gue yg sama kayak apa yg tami pikirin. pas kita ngerasa ada temen yg TKB lah pas ada anak yg sok SKSD lah pas ada juga anak yg sok EKSIS waktu itu. well, that's life! honestly ya i miss her a looooootttt! dia udah punya temen2 baru, sahabat2 baru, yg mungkin nge gantiin posisi gue. but she's always be my bespal polepal kok ;)

back to the main topic ya, jadi gue dan sahabat2 (at least for me) gue ini sekarang udah ga seenak dulu lagi. gue juga ga suka kayak gini tp mereka tetep terbaik dan loooovableee buat gue. sekarang

lots to tell

2009-01-03T12:05:00.000+07:00

first, talking about new years eve a couple of days ago. it was fun and so tiring -enough-

second, talking about my feeling, it's so uncontrollable. i dont know how i really feel exactly. sometimes i wanna let myself being alone without any others bothering me. but sometimes i need someone to spend my time with. and sometimes my head wanna explode and spread everything in it (li'l exaggerate) and poor my bf, he's always be the 'black sheep' hihi and i hope this wont stay any longer amen!

third, talking about my boyfriend. yeah nowadays, i'm feeling like i wanna back to the time when we just knew each other or time when we just started our relationship. yeah, that was good and full of loooooveeee. well doesnt mean that didnt stay longer, but everything's just being different. i wanna feel 'in love' with my heart leaped higher when he said that he had a crush on me or something like that. btw, yesterday i deided to breakup but he disagreed, i have no idea why he still want me to be his gf or annoying gf. i know he's been such a good bf for me (best malah) but there's something left n my head and still, i dont know what it is. and today, i saw his ex's blog in friendster that shocked me. it tells about how she fell in love with ncong and bla bla, what i've got is she really loved him.and she was so hurt when they brokeup. and even when ncong is already mine, she still loved him and she was so broken heart when she had known about me and ncong. i know how it feels. and now i'm feeling guilty. for what? i have no idea :( though i know it was so long ago but i wasnt okay with that. m god, am i too jealousy? haha you know what? jealous means love :)

and finally, talking about family. i had a big fight with my grandma yesterday and we haven't communicated til today. i dont care no more cause i hate her.

enough for today, and happy new year 2009!

new year's coming to us yeay!

2008-12-30T19:17:00.000+07:00

what i thought is i'll celebrate this upcoming new year by staying at home and do nothing! and my another thought is i gotta find a place to celebrate it somewhere besides my dad wont even let me go celebrating new year with my friends errh ;( and you know what? all kind of room is unavailable no more in every hotels and resorts. and i hate it when i have to join new year party at every hotel with formal dress, some kind of champagne (ive never tasted it) and not-spicy food beside we have to pay more and quite expensive for that un-wanted-party (at least for me) lol!
well tomorrow i'll check in to grand mahakam hotel (again!?!!?) with all my family of course and have to join that un-wanted-party again. lucky me, it only takes one night so i can go out with my bf on the first day of 2009 hahaha amin! my god i forgot something, how can i celebrate this newyear with my fuckin new hair cut like this??????!!!????? shit

shit poni mamen

2008-12-22T17:58:00.000+07:00

dasar mba2 l*t*y* salon begooo poni gue dibabat sampe pendek banget, rambut gue cacat kaya cumi2. looks like a fool parah tampang gue. but why im getting mad is the day after tomorrow is ncong's birthday and we planned to spend the day together. buuuut hoow caaan i go outside with this fucking bang errrh! tampang gue di foto masih look much better daripada aslinya, huaaa what am i suppose to do dooong? i miss my ex-haircut :p at least it was much better than this one. dan yg gue bingung, why must yaa tiap gue ke salon buat potong rambut or even potong poni, pasti pulang2 gue nyesel bgt. numbnuts bgt kalo tiap pulang dari salon gue nangis kaya gini (exaggerate)

my only wish is to get my hair and my bang loooooonger when i wake up tomorrow in the morning hehe

2008-12-21T18:42:00.000+07:00

Maroon 5 - Better That We Break lyrics

I never knew perfection 'till

I heard you speak, and now it kills me

Just to hear you say the simple things

Now waking up is hard to do

And sleeping is impossible too

Everything is reminding me of you

What can I do? 


It's not right, not okay

To say the words that you say

Maybe we're better off this way? 

I'm not fine, I'm in pain

It's harder everyday

Maybe we're better off this way? 

It's better that we break…


A fool to let you slip away

I chase you just to hear you say

You're scared and that you think that I'm insane


The city looks so nice from here

Pity I can't see it clearly

While you're standing there, it disappears

It disappears


It's not right, not okay

To say the words that you say


Maybe we're better off this way? 

I'm not fine, I'm in pain

It's harder everyday

Maybe we're better off this way? 

It's better that we break


So you're sitting all alone

You're fragile and you're cold, but that's alright

Life these days is getting rough

They've knocked you down and beat you up

But it's just a rollercoaster anyway, yeah


It's not right, not okay

To say the words that you say

Maybe we're better off this way? 

I'm not fine, I'm in pain

It's harder everyday

Maybe we're better off this way? 


I'm not fine, not okay

To say the words that you say

Maybe we're better off this way? 


I'm not fine, I'm in pain

It's harder everyday

Maybe we're better off this way? 

It's better that we break, baby



Lyrics | Maroon 5 lyrics - Better That We Break lyrics

problematic love life

2008-12-21T15:48:00.000+07:00

i'll talk much about my problematic love life (forget the past :p) after all these times i've been through i think i had enough experiences of being loved, than hurt straightly and finally come to a broken-hearted life (which i really2 hate). but it makes me strong enough to deal with something like that. but one of my ex's was such a jerk, he made me having such a trauma in mourning. so when i broke up with him, i decided to be more selective in finding my true love hehe well thetrauma eventually stopped when i met ncong (fyi : he's my bf now and soon to be my future husby). at first i wasnt sure that i had a crush on him cause we hadn't even met each other just yet. can you imagine how riddiculous to be in love with 'stranger'? what i thought it's riddiculous , but now i've gotta thanks to god for giving me one good person like him

after these 6 months we've been through, we only had one serious problem that made us almost breakup. i could tolerate any other problems but CENTIL :( i know he didnt mean to hurt me or whatever, but he should've known that it wasnt okay for me. there's something in him that i cant or never ever be okay with that. yeah he is a kind of friendly boy that can easily making friends with everybody which most of them are girls. he has a lot of not-official-sistersssss that annoy me so much. i know that they know ncong better long enough than me. i ever once debated about it with ncong. and he told me that he wouldnt give any responses to them. yeaa it didnt mean that there will be any boundaries between ncong and those annoying girls,right?

o ya, he also has bestfriends which some of them are girls. well it didnt matter for me at first, until i read some of her messages which saying something unappropriate (at least for me) and finally i knew that it wasnt a big deal for them. didnt he care about my feeling? so how if he's in my position and has a same point of view just like mine?

there's also one annoying girl (sorry ncong) who knows ncong so well cause she's his bestriend's cousin. just call her A, she usually calls him 'abang' or even 'abang sayang' maybe cuih cuih. she's so close to him, so that ncong usually share about his problems (with me or anything) to A. and once again, i wasnt okay with that. and nowadays, i feel like i damnbore with all jelousy things. i'm sick of them all, i'd rather breakup than make any boundaries between ncong and his friends. i dont wanna repress him or being too possesive. but i cant also deny that i'm hurt inside. i dont know whether i just too over or exaggerate. but one thing that he has to know is i love him more than anyone can do.

so do i have to sacrifice for his happiness with his friends or i have to keep him with me and let my self hurt inside?

introducing

2008-12-19T21:26:00.000+07:00

finally i have this neeeeew blog which would be the third of all my blog i ever created. actually im so sick of this all (exaggerate), i mean this will be the last blog acc i've created i promise haha. And now, as the first posting i think i should introduce my self hehe i'm Indah Kusumawati, a girl who lives in Jakarta and study at 21 senior high school. I have a big family which includes mom dad and my younger brother. we have such a great life at all but sometimes we also have a fight and we cant deny it anyway. besides family, family i also have bestfriends who know me overall though we're kinda not in the good friendship nowadays yeah it looks so problematic. but thanks god i got one good person who always understands me and he always there whenever i need him, such a good boyfriend : Haris Krisnadi

i think that's all about my self, thaaaaankyou!